Always Searching for a Greater Light.

Yes, there is fear that our Krishna may end up having broken picture parents. Don’t know if we’ll get married some dawn, that dream may not shine. Oh Krishna Chentamine Vash, you having parents with a healthy relationship is a great gift already, a stepping stone for you to overcome the dusty roads of this life.

Earlier, me and Arcee have a discourse about our plight, and the doors circumventing it. She isn’t assure of herself if she wants to marry me, maybe because I ain’t earning money, or perhaps I spend much time on cultural duties.

Yeah, ‘twas a fault of mine, I told her that I will shun all mind clouds, so I could set golden family priorities. Like maybe engaging in business early next year, and postpone DIY advance design lessons in graphic, and in video editing. Just a timely reading of history, philosophy, arts, and all that will do in my free time in between washing diapers, cleaning the room, preparing milk, going to market and so on… Could do it, I tell her, her ambiguous smile flew like a bird with sharp wings in my heart sky. But I know her, I know that in her hearts of heart, she still believes, it is just I’m irritating to revived buried questions. Oh Rilke, to love questions of your heart like a book written in a foreign language, its so wonderful…

She might leave us, she told me, at first, she stated the desire to not leave Krishna, but like my friends say, I must never take a glance away from dear Krishna, I must be the one to water his heart with affection, so we have a consensus that unless our fight is somewhat violent or tumultuous, she will file a custody to have Krishna if he is still under 7 years of age.

I miss her kisses like sunset in the good old romantic innumerable shores. But if that kiss once damp my deserted land of shattered sorrow, then my lips is an ocean where I drink and get drowned in bliss.

Freddie Aguilar is singing Anak as Krishna is sleeping, wondering wondering, will I be a good father. Will leaving my cultural duties and maybe egoistical aspirations make me happy?

In the end, I might be Ajamila, I told Jimple, well to give our child such a name is a great gift besides having a healthy family. Krishna, Krishna, that’s the answer.


Now the question is when. Dear Morrisey: How soon in now? Haribol

Arcee, endless learning love, hope could be a better person, hope is a flower.



Erik
18 November 2008